Good bye 2008..

In another 8 hours 57 minutes 00 seconds ,2008 become a part of history.. people all over the world (those who are not drunk already)are eagerly waiting for the clock to strike mid night..
This is the festive time.. a time for new resolutions.. time for analysing the past.. a time for dreaming about the future.. People do a lota math.. analysing what went well and what could have been done etc etc. . So I too did some math.. and here it goes!

Good things that happened in 2008:
1. Got into a development project.
2. Brother's marriage.
3. First onsite travel.
4. Spent the most wonderful one month in Netherlands.
5. Fulfilled my dream of visiting Paris.

Things that bothered me during 2008:
1. Quarrels with my better half (or going to be)
2. Chungu moved away to US ( he was a good roomie)
3. No recognition from Project team (As usual.. :( )

Disasters in 2008 ..
1. Failed miserably in GMAT.
2. Not able to recover from that fall.

Learnings :
1. Dont expect anything from others.
2. Dont be over confident.
3. Believe in yourself.
4. Dont try to lure GOD with offerings!
5. Better late than never!
6. Try to focus on what you are supposed to do!
Expectations :
1. Will try not to miss GYM.
2. Will learn driving and buy a Car.
3. Will score well in GMAT, and get a good college admission.
4. Chalk out a plan for a settled life.
5. a looong term onsite!

So in sum, just as any normal human being I too expect a good year ahead. Wish me luck!

The secret of success,yet to find

Forgot to tell you (Till now I don't think anybody other thane ME ever visited this blog) about my GMAT result .. It was a disaster, I got only 590. The amount of money.. Let's forget about money, It will come today, will go off tomorrow..might come day after ! .. But time and effort was never paid off.. I was very depressed after seeing the score! Depressed to the core..I felt the entire world is falling on me.. At the same time, I felt an in explicable idleness/calmness .. I wanted to escape to some where..into some deep hole, so that nobody should find me out for ever..I spent days thinking where I went wrong.. asking my self a thousand times - am I fit for this..? Is this what my heart wants me to achieve.. or is it the path my head wants me to follow - blindly.. To be frank I am yet to find an answer..

I know what is my problem - I don't know what I wanted to become. I just know that I need to reach some where very soon, some where I can sleep calmly with out ever worrying about money..in a short time,though I know there is no short cut for success..

Then some where I read "The secret of life,though,is to fall seven times and to get up eight times". I fell down for the seventh time.. I need to get up..Because that is called success!

The traveler who forgot to travel

I am a traveler , who wished to travel with a map
With a proper itinerary ..
With a proper origin and destination..
I am traveler ,who wished to see the world..
Wished to climb the tallest of mountains..
Wished to listen to the chirping of birds..
All alone in the darkest of dark forests..

I planned and planned everything in detail..
Right from my mothers womb..
Planning ..planning and planning..
I forgot to think about my day..
Think about my nights..
To think about my yester years..

I loved to plan everything in details..
I was good at that, though often I forgot to execute..
It went on like that for a while
For how long, Alas! I don't remember..
Until this day I realized, I never travelled anywhere..

~ Retrospection

Ever seen a guy who scores poorer upon studying .. ? If not..look at me..
I don't know what is the funda behind this.. the number of questions I get wrong, after every practise test ,is increasing exponentially ..
I need a retrospection..What is happening to me? Is the aim is too far.. ?
No..it is just a hand stretch distance from me..I just need to keep my spirit up
Keep going dude ! He is not going to let you down..Keep up the pace..
- 13th Aug 08, 3:10 pm.

~random thoughts

How many of u felt, you need a company to share ur feelings..? How many of you have one..
a true one, to whom you can share everything..Your love, hope, tensions...how many of them will listen to you carefully..? with out interrupting your flow of thoughts..Very few..ehh
I am not a male chauvanist , but I do feel that girls of my age generally lack that, the ability to listen..
Alas! This writing can do wonders..I feel lot better now.

Good bye !

To my room mate. Vimal, who is going to US for higher studies. I am not good at poetry.

I don't know whether this can be called as a poem or not. Since i could not express my feelings in a proper way i just jotted down them.. Here it goes..

Good bye my dear..

Its been two years since we met..

since we started sharing a roof..

since we started sharing a dream..

a dream of reaching some where..

a dream of escaping, from this unfair world..

[ read it as IT ]

Congrats to you..

for your victory,you made it finally..

Congrats to you..

for your great escape, though you are leaving me behind

I won't forget the moments, we had..

the beers we shared..

the fights and laughters we had..

Thank you my dear, Thank you for everything..

and wishing you the best..

Am gonna miss you!

Sidhartha

"Shit .. what did I do yesterday..I won't drink again! "- the stereotype dialogue of anybody who got knocked off in a previous day's party ! This was exactly my mood when i woke up today..I got drunk in yesterday's party .. and completely forgot about me..my aim..I was supposed to take a mock test in the morning..:(

In my last post i mentioned about blogging "daily" .. Well ..that never worked out..and I dont think ever gona work out!! (yeah at times I m pesimistic ) It is not that I was too busy ..I have been sitting idle for the past one week, sitting and day dreaming..but only one problem, sitting next to my PM!! What is worser than this that could happen to me ! [like idi vettiyavante thalem thenga veenu !]I had to bear with his occasional glances with a look " Nothing to do..ehh ?" So that was my situation..i know this is just an excuse for not being punctual at blogging..yet it is the fact..Ntire week went like that..So I planned lots of things to do on this week end..But the truth is I didn't do anything! I wasted yesterday and thought of taking that test today.. But that also miserably failed..I went for a treat and got drunk! :) So today, I am disappointed..at the same time I am thankful to my friends for those wonderfull moments at the B A R. :D

I wasted my day[to day] regretting " why am i wasting time !! " .. it went on and on unitll

i realised "an idle mind is the Devil's workshop" So i gota do something, something to prevent my mind from wandering..that lead me to read Sidhartha, by Herment Hesse. The book is really intersting..i dont know when..i fell asleep..[deep silence .. ]

Alas ! when I woke up I am new man ! I got the inspiration .. the stuf i was searching for..I am starting off my journey.. right away..in search of my destiny ..like the Brahmin son Sidhartha..

an eventfull week .. A new beginning ?

Its been a boring life for quite a long time. Nothing exciting happening in ma life...except that I got chance to get a glimpse of Europe...
My roommate is going to US for pursuing higher studies. So i am going to miss my
Pal to whom I always share my frustration , of course job related ( We were on the same boat- in that aspect )
One good thing happened was, I started feeling dejected at work. . I feel like run away from this place. . I am not trying to decrease that feeling.. rather Am I trying to increase it ? I don't know! ...nyways I know I will suffer here for a while, then.. then I will find a way out .. But when ? How long I have to wait for that .. ??

Another thing that happened was I did some investment ..I shelled out nearly 3000 bucks on books .. !! I bought Princeton review and Kaplan GMAT premier edition 2009 as a humble start for my GMAT prep..I need to keep my spirit up, at least for the next 2-3 months . I know.. I have a very bad reputation in wasting money..( I wasted 20,000 on CAT coaching and another 3000 on learning Kung-Fu – I hardly attended any classes for both ) So need to be cautious this time.. GOD please gime strentgh and courage . .

As a beginning I thought I would rejuvenate my blog .. So, will try to post something on a daily basis..

Life - a coincidence

Everything in this world has a meaning..every single incident is connected one another..,though we won't realise them so often..It so happened that, today i just typed blogs pot.com in my browser, thinking of creating a blog..to my surprise,It opened up my blog!! which i had created long ago ..

thank GOD ! I still remember password..:D
and surprise is not that !
It was exactly one year back that I wrote my first blog !!

strange ..ehh ??

I don't know why i thought of creating a blog today..Is this a new beginning ?? Am i going to blog frequently or what ?where am i heading..?
I know i won't be able to tell anything now..Its so unpredictable, this world
So am leaving this to Time..

Anyways Happy B day Dear !!
Cheers to myself..:D